by Kathie Stamps
Who-what-when-where-why-how
A random assortment of things I’ve thought about recently.
WHAT
You can’t spell embarrassment without an ass in the middle. (What?!? I know.)
WHEN
Way back when, in the 1900s before cellphones, if you were a disc jockey and needed the boss for some reason but they weren’t answering their landline at home, you just played a wrong song. Something that wasn’t supposed to be in rotation at that time of day, for example, or a song that wasn’t on the playlist at all. The system worked pretty well, and the program director would call in and yell at you, and then pause long enough so you could ask the question that precipitated the call in the first place.
WHERE
The social media planetary galaxy system is one of the best spots on earth and all around the earth. Especially when you come across an article or post where someone has bared their flayed soul, and it’s beautiful and poignant and raw. But the good raw, like a silk charmeuse (an 18 momme weight, thank you), not the kind of raw where your knee meets the sidewalk and you need some Neosporin but the only thing you can find in the medicine cabinet is an expired Vagisil or something.
WHO
In the summer of 2013, I wondered if Anthony Weiner was hoping for an election lasting more than four hours. (You had to be there, or at least up on your current events that are now history lessons.)
WHY
Walk in on the right, walk out on the right, and everybody gets to go at the same time. Open the door on the righthand side to walk in the building. Open the door on the righthand side when you walk out. This concept is so difficult at the post office... why???
HOW
How do you know when to use e.g. or i.e.? Dude, I can barely write any sentence without a mnemonic device. Here’s one for these Latin abbreviations.
e.g. = exempli gratia = for example. Example and e.g. both start with the letter E.
i.e. = id est = that is to say (or) in other words. In and i.e. both start with an I.
Collective nouns for animals are fascinating, e.g., a business of ferrets and an unkindness of ravens. People between the ages of 13 and 19, i.e., teenagers, do not have a collective noun, although some have suggested referring to them as a whatever.